I haven’t written in a while. I have thought about writing on this blog many times but I somehow never made time to do it. If only there was a chip in my head through which I could download my thoughts so wherever I am and no matter what I’m doing I can write. I need to get my thoughts down…get rid of the clutter in my mind. It helps clarify my thoughts, goals, yada yada. So here I am months after my last post not able to fall asleep (it’s 4:20am now and I’ve been up since a bit before 3am) and I figured this was as good a time as any to write.
I changed my blog theme too. I wanted something clean and simple. I added a photo at the top – kids running freely down a path. Running free without a care in the world. In some ways it seems that kids are so free but then I see my kids struggle – held back by their fears sometimes. They do care and they do create their own limitations. I try to give them the room to be kids and explore and be free. D stops herself because she needs to be in control. She doesn’t like to try something new if she doesn’t feel immediately that she can do it. G is the opposite – she is my adventurer willing to travel into the unknown. G doesn’t give herself boundaries much of the time and sometimes it’s dangerous. D and G balance each other out. After G does something D is more willing to try it. And, when G is running off into the “wilderness” of the world D will call her back and help with boundaries. They are so different but complement each other so well. Sometimes it’s hard to believe two such different little girls were born at the same time. They are almost 4 years old. Wow!
Summer vacation starts today. My girls finished the school year yesterday and now it’s on to our summer adventures. Some weeks they are with me, some weeks in various camps and then we have a trip planned to see family. I hope to make this a fun, memorable summer. Last year was so challenging when I couldn’t take them out since they would run off in different directions and not listen so well, and they were a bit too young for camps (just missing the age 3 cut-off).
Many of my previous posts focused on my “body clutter” – I have been trying so hard to get back in shape. It has been almost 4 years since I’ve had my twins and I have struggled immensely with getting my body back to a state I’m comfortable with. I finally took the step of getting a personal trainer. This is a luxury but I wasn’t able to do this alone. It is worth the money if it will help me feel better. I am definitely getting stronger as she pushes me through the challenging workouts, however, the fat hasn’t exactly been melting off. “It takes time,” my trainer says. Well, the clock is ticking. We have a trip out east planned to see my family and I’d like to go with clothes fitting properly and feeling good. I have 2 months to really whip myself into shape. This week, for the first time I saw a slight weight loss on the scale. Previously, it was static or a gain – hopefully because I’m building muscle and muscle weighs more than fat (or so “they” say). So, I’m going to keep at it and see what happens.
I am trying to modify some bad habits/patterns in my eating as well. I have often eaten dinner with my kids early and then eaten again later with my hubby. I realized that I was eating a meal and a half or sometimes even two meals. Ugh! I am now eating only with my kids and then having a fruit or light snack later if needed. I wake up feeling much better when I eat earlier. My hubby works out at night so he eats pretty late but I workout in the morning so I shouldn’t be eating at 8pm or 9pm. I’m working on it. I am definitely not perfect but I’m trying to improve.
Another area I have been working on is getting rid of the clutter in the house. The kids have grown out of clothes and toys and I keep telling myself I’m going to sell some of the nicer stuff but I never get around to it. So, I finally gave it all away. It was nice to get it out of the house. I still need to clean out papers in the home office and just get more organized but it’s a work in progress and I am making small steps. It’s tough to work on when the kids are home but I’m hoping to do a bit each day and have more of a minimalist home.
All wheels are in motion.
Cheers to a happy, fun summer! And, happy Father’s Day to all the dads!